Today I'm writing from my chair in the daycare unit (that's what they call the units where you get chemo); so I guess there is a daycare for adults and let me tell you we want to attend far less then most children, haven't witnessed any temper tantrums or crying for there moms here, I'm sure that can change as I said before it is kinda a sad place.
As for round 2 so far so good, and I'm not anticipating anything to happen today I'm sure the next few days will bring the side effects. I'm thinking I'll be fine, mind over matter, right?! Yes!
The one side affect that I can't get away from or hide from the world has begun, the hair loss. About a week ago I noticed the hair coming out a little easier then normal, so I shaved my head. My eldest son calls it my Daddy hair cut, hehe! his Daddy has longer hair and so does he and his baby brother. So yesterday I purchased a wig for days I want to have hair and I'm in the process of looking for other head wear because it's soooo cold with no hair! I'm starting to have some sympathy for bald men, I really never realized how warm my hair was. Today I've noticed that the hair is beginning to come out in clumps so I guess it won't be long now that I'll be taking on the appearance of a cancer patient, yuck!! Regardless of my appearance I know it's just hair and this is only temporary and for many people it's permanent so I'm not going to complain, so it may be gone for the next few months but then it will start to come back and I will be looking normal again in no time ;).
Can't wait to be done sitting here and getting home to my little men! I miss my hectic life at home and I think they may be killing there babysitters.
Wednesday 5 December 2012
Monday 26 November 2012
Finally a moment to breath...
Round 1: Done. I didn't have any reactions during my chemo injections so it was just a long uneventful day. The next couple of days I was tired and just feeling under the weather, definitely felt worse and much better. The third day at home was probably the worse day for me; here it is in a nutshell diarrhea, most god awful taste in my mouth(and very tender mouth), back aching, nausea which turned into actual vomiting (thankfully only once). The diarrhea and the mouth issues have been lingering but everything else has thankfully gone away.
As I thought I might be turning the corner and going to be feeling normal again, not 1 but both my children got fevers and were sick for the next 5 days. I won't elaborate because we have all been sick and you can all imagine how much fun 2 sick kids are. Ugh! Of course this little bout with what ever they had had to fall just as my blood counts were dropping yah(that is a very sarcastic yah). Thankfully I and they made it through, we are all healthy!
Now this Mama needs to get some sleep to make up for the last week of not getting any, and make some play dates for the kids!
As I thought I might be turning the corner and going to be feeling normal again, not 1 but both my children got fevers and were sick for the next 5 days. I won't elaborate because we have all been sick and you can all imagine how much fun 2 sick kids are. Ugh! Of course this little bout with what ever they had had to fall just as my blood counts were dropping yah(that is a very sarcastic yah). Thankfully I and they made it through, we are all healthy!
Now this Mama needs to get some sleep to make up for the last week of not getting any, and make some play dates for the kids!
Tuesday 13 November 2012
Hurry up...and wait.
So what's been going on lately? Not much. Just hanging out with my family, healing up so we can move on. The second breast surgery went well and wasn't as uncomfortable as the first one, oddly enough, I'm thinking its because the IVAD (or power port) that was installed earlier in the week was so uncomfortable the boob surgery was nothing. I was just had a black and blue chest for about a week then it turned a few different colours as the bruises healed. Now the only thing noticeable is the bump on my chest where the IVAD lives under my skin. I swear it has a bulls eye on it because my kids never miss it! I've healed up nicely the doctor attributed it to my young skin and I've been cleared to move on.
Tomorrow I will receive my first round of chemo therapy. Part of me is terrified of the unknown (how my body will react, will I be sick, will I have an allergic reaction...) and the other part of me can't believe it is finally going to start ( it feels like I've been waiting forever, I do know it hasn't really been that long). So for now I will have to wait and hope for the best because really what else can a person do with out driving oneself crazy? get some sleep.
Tomorrow I will receive my first round of chemo therapy. Part of me is terrified of the unknown (how my body will react, will I be sick, will I have an allergic reaction...) and the other part of me can't believe it is finally going to start ( it feels like I've been waiting forever, I do know it hasn't really been that long). So for now I will have to wait and hope for the best because really what else can a person do with out driving oneself crazy? get some sleep.
Tuesday 16 October 2012
Treatment suggestions
So what did the oncologist say? She said a lot but here are the highlights. Firstly the hormone testing came back, estrogen came back 1+ (on a scale of 0-3), so that means the tumour is slightly affected by estrogen. Progesterone came back a 0 so not a factor but the HER2 came back 3+. HER2 is a gene we all have but sometimes it is "over-expressed" and that leads to aggressive growth of the cancer.
The oncology team has suggested that I do 6 rounds of chemo therapy one every three weeks my cocktail will be Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. The Herceptin will be administered every three weeks for a year. Radiation will begin four weeks after chemo ends and that will be five days a week for five weeks. They have also suggested that I take an estrogen blocker for five years. All I can say is this is going to suck...
Well, that being said I'm experiencing my first set back in my treatment course (though it hasn't really started) this week. Yesterday as I was sitting waiting to have my IVAD or port surgically installed and I received a phone call informing me I need to go back into surgery on Thursday they've decided the margins aren't big enough for there liking. So I go under the knife, again. Then I will have to heal, again! hopefully then we can get on with this treatment. Ugh.
By this weekend I'm going to be rather unhappy because the girl who HATES needles/scalpels anything of the sort will have been poked and sliced far too many times for her liking all in one week. Also will have an injury on the right and left sides of my upper torso so that should make sleeping and general living interesting.
So here's to next week being a more agreeable one!
The oncology team has suggested that I do 6 rounds of chemo therapy one every three weeks my cocktail will be Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. The Herceptin will be administered every three weeks for a year. Radiation will begin four weeks after chemo ends and that will be five days a week for five weeks. They have also suggested that I take an estrogen blocker for five years. All I can say is this is going to suck...
Well, that being said I'm experiencing my first set back in my treatment course (though it hasn't really started) this week. Yesterday as I was sitting waiting to have my IVAD or port surgically installed and I received a phone call informing me I need to go back into surgery on Thursday they've decided the margins aren't big enough for there liking. So I go under the knife, again. Then I will have to heal, again! hopefully then we can get on with this treatment. Ugh.
By this weekend I'm going to be rather unhappy because the girl who HATES needles/scalpels anything of the sort will have been poked and sliced far too many times for her liking all in one week. Also will have an injury on the right and left sides of my upper torso so that should make sleeping and general living interesting.
So here's to next week being a more agreeable one!
Sad place...
Last week I had my first visit to the Cross Cancer and met my medical oncologist. Wowzers was that place SAD! You hear every day that someone has cancer and you know it affects more people than we think but to actually get there and see all the people. There was a moment where we were I cannot believe how many people are here and you know why they are all there.
Then the thing I knew I couldn't handle happened as we were standing line I saw a little girl crying in her mothers arms with her sisters and father standing around them. It broke my heart no child should have to go through this, its not fair! There should be an exemption for children, they should not have there childhood ruined by cancer or any other disease for that matter.
As an adult who is rather rational about most things and I like to believe anyway fairly intelligent, I have a hard time wrapping my head around my diagnoses and understanding all the treatments. So I know how scary it is for myself and then I imagine being a child and going through these things, it must be terrifying for a child!
Not that I believe anyone deserves this disease, its just heart breaking to see so many people going through it from the far too young to the old and everything in the middle.
On the other hand everyone who works/volunteers there is extremely pleasant and helpful. You can tell they are trying to make your day a little less difficult and help in anyway possible. They are trying to make it a little less SAD and for that I have to say Thank-You.
Then the thing I knew I couldn't handle happened as we were standing line I saw a little girl crying in her mothers arms with her sisters and father standing around them. It broke my heart no child should have to go through this, its not fair! There should be an exemption for children, they should not have there childhood ruined by cancer or any other disease for that matter.
As an adult who is rather rational about most things and I like to believe anyway fairly intelligent, I have a hard time wrapping my head around my diagnoses and understanding all the treatments. So I know how scary it is for myself and then I imagine being a child and going through these things, it must be terrifying for a child!
Not that I believe anyone deserves this disease, its just heart breaking to see so many people going through it from the far too young to the old and everything in the middle.
On the other hand everyone who works/volunteers there is extremely pleasant and helpful. You can tell they are trying to make your day a little less difficult and help in anyway possible. They are trying to make it a little less SAD and for that I have to say Thank-You.
Thursday 4 October 2012
Breast feeding & Cancer
Let me just start off by saying everyone has an opinion about breast feeding and that's okay; these are my very personal feelings and beliefs on the matter. On the day the doctor told me that I had cancer he had another bomb to drop. The next piece of absolutely gut wrenching news; you should quit breast feeding. Say what!? I must have made a face or said something I'm unsure, but the next thing he said was well at least out of the affected breast. I was and still am unsatisfied with this response but I have yet to get anything more from anyone else...
The following day I went to the drug store to buy some bottles and formula. It was a disaster! The emotions began to flow right out of me, I actually considered or rather was on the verge of having one of those toddler tantrums where you throw yourself on the ground kicking and screaming! I was so ANGRY! I can't describe the turmoil I was in standing there looking at the formula and bottles. As I read the ingredient list of the formulas I couldn't believe people feed there children this stuff and it is often encouraged to feed them this. How could this be good for my child? Then the sense of loss set in, big time! I felt ripped off and cheated for me and for my baby.
His big brother and I had twenty-two months to for lack of a better word bond. Putting my feelings about breast feeding into words is impossible for me they are too strong. I love it! it is so comfortable, normal and natural for me. I'm absolutely mind boggled by people's lack of desire and other peoples ignorance.
So what has happened since my near meltdown at the drugstore? Well I didn't give up breast feeding completely I continue to feed from one breast only and supplement with the bottle, he is too hungry for the one breast to keep up with him. The anger is still there though... I love feeding my baby and I'm dreading the day it will end, it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. I believe with every piece of my being that breast feeding is best and the bottle is a distant second sometimes necessary but never going to be my first choice.
I will retire this rant for now, NO promises that I won't pick it up again especially since the day that I dread the day it may all have to end is nearing.
The following day I went to the drug store to buy some bottles and formula. It was a disaster! The emotions began to flow right out of me, I actually considered or rather was on the verge of having one of those toddler tantrums where you throw yourself on the ground kicking and screaming! I was so ANGRY! I can't describe the turmoil I was in standing there looking at the formula and bottles. As I read the ingredient list of the formulas I couldn't believe people feed there children this stuff and it is often encouraged to feed them this. How could this be good for my child? Then the sense of loss set in, big time! I felt ripped off and cheated for me and for my baby.
His big brother and I had twenty-two months to for lack of a better word bond. Putting my feelings about breast feeding into words is impossible for me they are too strong. I love it! it is so comfortable, normal and natural for me. I'm absolutely mind boggled by people's lack of desire and other peoples ignorance.
So what has happened since my near meltdown at the drugstore? Well I didn't give up breast feeding completely I continue to feed from one breast only and supplement with the bottle, he is too hungry for the one breast to keep up with him. The anger is still there though... I love feeding my baby and I'm dreading the day it will end, it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. I believe with every piece of my being that breast feeding is best and the bottle is a distant second sometimes necessary but never going to be my first choice.
I will retire this rant for now, NO promises that I won't pick it up again especially since the day that I dread the day it may all have to end is nearing.
Thursday 27 September 2012
I have what?!?
On August 14, 2012 I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma or breast cancer. Needless to say to say I was shocked and absolutely devastated, how can this be happening to me????
Well it's happening whether I like it or not...
I had the lump and 4 lymph nodes removed on September 6th. The pathology of the tumour came back with a grade of 3/3 (aggressive) the good news is the 4 lymph's came back clear.
So what now...
I'm currently awaiting my appointment at the Cross Cancer where I will find out the status of the hormone testing and what the treatment plan is, well in more detail than just chemotherapy followed by radiation.
Well it's happening whether I like it or not...
I had the lump and 4 lymph nodes removed on September 6th. The pathology of the tumour came back with a grade of 3/3 (aggressive) the good news is the 4 lymph's came back clear.
So what now...
I'm currently awaiting my appointment at the Cross Cancer where I will find out the status of the hormone testing and what the treatment plan is, well in more detail than just chemotherapy followed by radiation.
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